Match Report - 24 Nov 2014 - Dreadball League Final Round

And here we go straight to Jason and Vish at Well 'Ard Road Stadium, Trontek, for the Valkyries' last game in this year's league...

"You join us with team news. The Valkyries' starting six, unsurprisingly, doesn't include striker Ola Gunnarson, who is still not right after a post-match visit to the hospital several games ago after a Teraton landed on her. Blonde bombshell Freya Siggurdsdott... OW! Hey! what was that for, Vish??? That book was heavy." 

"Vish thought he buy you new thesaurus, find some new words for smoking hot and blonde?" 

"Oh... ok. Anyway, the striking and fair-haired Freya Siggurdsdottir takes her place as point striker, backed by rookie Anya Anderson. The Valkyries are down a jack, but they're playing new guard and wanna-be keeper Birgitte Pettersen in her place, in a two-pronged attack with Greta Fredrikkson." 

"Hang on. Tigers' team news. Last minute signing." 

"Oh my. The Trontek Tigers..." 

"...have signed Buzzcut. Vish looking forward to this." 

"Our viewers are dying to know, Vish. When the girls play Orx, who do you really support?" 

"Valkyries. Of course. Cheerleaders never speak to Vish again otherwise." 

"Riiiight. Ok. In other matches round the league, the Devastators take on the Raiders, and the Unmentionables take on the Asterian team, the Litigating Circumstances. Just a reminder - for the Valkyries to win the league, they need to whitewash the Orx of Trontek, and both the Devastators AND the Unmentionables need to lose by landslides. I don't give either the Asterians or the Raiders much chance, especially after the Valkyries beat the Raiders in three rushes two rounds ago... Let's see a clip of that..." 

"Heh. Let's see all of it. It pretty short. Raiders only had ball for two seconds." 

"Strike Valkyries, fumble Raiders, and strike... There you go." 

"Valkyries need a miracle." 

"Well let's see. Tigers get the ball first, and here comes Buzzcut... slams into Pettersen. And she just stands there and grins at him." 

"Not bad...." 

"He tries again... and.. oh my. Pettersen stiff-arms him across the chest, and Buzzcut actually goes BACKWARDS." 

"Bwah,... oops." 

"And there goes Vish spraying our sponsor's product everywhere again. Mega Cola, for when you need to do a really GOOD spit take. Buzzcut's getting yelled at by the Tigers' offensive coach, starts moving, but Heldstrom, one of the Valkyries two rookie jacks slams him.. down she goes, but she's still moving... The girls' game plan for Buzzcut's pretty obvious." 

"Buzzcut off form today. That's usually visit to morgue." 

"Not half. Here comes the Tigers' striker now, picks up, sidesteps, tough one pointer in heavy traffic. The crowd goes ... mild, would be the best description. They're expecting more, I think. And there's a LOT of Valkyries fans packed into Well 'Ard Road. The ball's in, and ... here comes Pettersen again on Buzzcut, and Wollgard, and Fredrikkson - triple team, and down he goes[1]... looks like he's quite badly hurt there..."

"This not like Buzzcut at all. Beaten by a girl." 

"Three. Be fair, it did take three of 'em." 

"Vish take that anytime. Heheheh. And that hit of season contender." 

"ANYway. Freya with a clean pickup, quick three-pointer brings the score back to two in the Valkyries' favour: she makes that look so easy. In comes the ball again, lots of pushing and shoving against the two Valk's guards, the Orx have the ball... but here comes Greta..." 

"Ooooooof. Vish hear Ork teeth rattle from here. Would if he had any." 

"Down he goes, and here comes Anya Anderson - quick sidestep round the fallen striker, sidesteps a tackle, easy as you like two pointer. The Valkyries are four up." 

"Latest from the Raiders - four up!" 

"Didn't expect that, folks. And the weirdos... sorry, the Asterians... are three up against the Unmentionables. Could we have the biggest final day upset in League history on our hands here?" 

"Vish hoping so. Do they eat sushi?" 

"Who?" 

"Asterians?" 

"Uh. I dunno, Vish. Anyway: the ball's in, and the Orx have it: pretty inconclusive run of play there, but the green guy with the ball's a bit isolated. Slam from Fredrikkson - rides it out. Again, rides it out. Anderson tries a steal - no luck. ANOTHER slam from Fredrikkson, the Valkyries' offensive coach is doing her nut." 

"That one tough Ork striker." 

"Yeah. Ouch. That's Heldstrom off, flattened by one of the Tigers' guards. And here they come, round the side of the Valkyries defence... easy two pointer..." 

"Oops." 

"Can't believe he missed that. The ball's in the Valkyries' left forward strike zone, and ... yup. That's Buzzcut, back on the Tigers' bench again: girls need to wrap this up in a hurry... Oh... my... goodness..." 

"Back from dead." 

"Quite literally, big guy. Ola Gunnarson, off the bench at a flat run, scoops the ball up... juggles it.. yes.. no... yes. Down the wing, sidesteps the jack trying to trip her, long arcing run towards the Tigers three point zone... she could pass to Sigurdsdottir, who's waiting in the zone...[2]" 

"Won't. Never does." 

"And doesn't. Into the strike zone, leaps and throws. STRIKE. STRIKE! The Valkyries WIN BY A LANDSLIDE..." 

"Comeback of season." 

"Gunnarson SCORES! She's mobbed by her teammates..." 

"That probably going to hurt more than being hit by Buzzcut today.... wait. News from Raiders..." 

"Yes, Vish. It's up on the big screen. The Raiders win by a landslide! The away crowd's going mental. And the Unmentionables are still a four pointer away from being swept by the Asterians, too..." 

"Valkyries could win this..." 

"It's bedlam in here - we have the Unmentionables game on the big screen, no-one's leaving..."

Sad to say, Rob's Nameless (the Arctech Unmentionables) somehow pulled it round, managing to landslide John's Asterians. So in the end I came second, which I have to say I'm very pleased with...

---

[1] Guard + Jack threatening, 3+ skill Guard slam, (3+1+1) dice + 2 coaching dice vs (4-2) dice. I won 5-2 and Buzzcut completely blew the armour roll...

[2] Ola is Skill 5+ (ouch) and Showoff... Draw a card, get 'Throw/Striker or Jack). Sprint from subs bench, pickup, fail to double. Sprint past midfield. Run + dash to 3 point zone (offensive coaching allowing 3rd action), throw (off the card I just drew) - 3+1-1-1 dice on a 5+...  PHEW!

Match Report - 31 Aug 2014 - Dreadball

Due to the insanity that was August, I missed my scheduled club tournament game, so I managed to squeeze it in on Sunday with a drive across town to visit Jonathan for a game against his Corporation team... Given last time out I got completely pounded by Dale's Teratons, knocking me down to 6 players, I wasn't expecting to win...

So, as ever, over to the dynamic duo:

"Hey, folks. Jason Barker here for Bifrost Tri-Vid. You join us at the Argola Thunderbirds stadium for this re-re-re-scheduled game between the 'Birds and the Valkyries. Weather on Asgard's ice-ball of a world has been even worse than usual, and Digby's agreed to allow a move of the game to Argola, after three postponements due to the snow on the Valkyries' pitch being up over the first dozen rows of seats. We're about four rushes in, and the girls are four up due to a laser strike from Ola Gunnarsen, despite being completely flattened by a Teraton in her previous match. Crowd went absolutely crazy for that strike. Whaddya reckon, big guy, and why the long face?"

"Vish not make Broadcaster of Year final poll. Results out, Vish not in." 

"Too bad, big guy. Want me to see if I can get one of the Valkyries' cheerleaders to .. uh.... cheer you up." 

"Vish not sure that work. 'Sides, they off form today. Last routine scrappy.... Anyway. Vish think Valkyries lucky to be ahead. Already two players down, and Gunnarsen looking shaky." 

"Right there, Vish. Here comes one of the Thunderbird strikers, on a long run for the loose ball on halfway.... no. Down he goes, and the ball scatters into the Asgard half. All the Valkyries are deep in the 'Birds half except for striker Freya Sigurdsdottir, who's scrambled to her feet after being on the receiving end of a crunching slam, and now hares back for it, scoops it up as she turns: a dash across halfway and she threads a precision-guided rocket of a pass through between one of the Argola jacks and the ref bot..."

"Valkyries not got a lot of choice here. Down to four, with Anderson and Sigurdsen off pitch. Only other striker is Gunnarson. Juggled catch at... oof. Third try. She really not right yet..."

"That medical procedure hasn't done her any good, and that throw nearly knocked her off her feet. Her ability's definitely dropped. Caught it though... turns, almost slips, into the three point zone. Arm back, throws..."

"Ooof..."

"Heh. Dying quail of a throw without much power behind it. Possibly the limpest score ever, but in the context of the game and the state of the Valkyries' team, that's a Strike of the Season contender, along with her earlier one. Still nothing the 'Birds can do, though... that's still a three pointer for a whitewash... very very much against the odds. I'm starting to wonder how many of the Sigurdsen sisters are left, as this game seems to have claimed another one." 

"Hang on. Vish getting MVP result... Bwahah. Digby needs eyes testing."

"Not half. Gunnarson gets completely ignored in favour of Valkyrie pinup Katya Svensson, for one lame block on a 'Birds guard. Pathetic." 

That wasn't what I expected. I had to blow a cheap raise on Ola after her mauling at the ... claws of Dale's Teratons, and, typical for my luck that time out, got -1 skill, so she's making tests on a 5+, not a 4+. Add to that that I lost a jack (dead) and a striker (out for three rushes) in the first rush, the team had no replacements (I started with six players and NO reserves), and I really wasn't expecting much.

This was basically one of those games where, even more than usual, I had to win early, before I ran out of coaching dice and players. In Jonathan's defence, he was unlucky more than once - pushing a sprint to grab the ball and falling on it, causing it to scatter and end his turn. I found having an offensive coach really useful - strikers on whom you can play three actions can be very very lethal, especially when you have four coaching dice. Getting one of the dice back on the first four-pointer didn't hurt, either.

Kudos to Jonathon for a great game - he's a fun opponent.

Match Report - 26 May 2014 - Dreadball

Finally having remembered where I downloaded the pictures to (the work laptop) I figure it's about time we got caught up on Monday's match reports.

Quite an interesting round in the club tournament - the first time we've had some seriously contested bidding in the MVP auction, not least because I started out playing Dale's Teratons, which gave me about 30MCr to play with, based on our team value difference. There were several people in a similar position, and after a bit of bid and counter-bid I wound up with the Enforcer (Speed 7! Guard) and Rico (Speed 6 Striker), both of which suit my playing style, namely "run around a lot, try not to get killed, and score". This is harder against teams like Dale's, as the Teratons are much more a "pound the opposition into a bloody pulp, find the ball when you're done and score if you need to" team.

Roll the highlights:

"Valkries against Devastators, you join us about half a dozen rushes in. Already four up to the ladies - one score to MVP Rico van Dien, and another two pointer to Valkyries' Striker Anya Anderson. The Teratons have the ball - although with them that's something of an afterthought - in their own three point zone. Over to you, Vish."

"Vish think Devastators making even bigger mistake than usual, Jase." 

"Wanna explain that one to our viewers?"

"Sure. They forgot Enforcer. He... quick."

"He is that. Coming off the bench now, a flat sprint past the halfway line, checks, shoulders past a turtle and puts some serious hurt on the ball carrier. Worth every MegaCred for that block alone, I'd say."

"Vish still think Digby shouldn't allow jump-packs, Jase."

"Maybe. But are you going to tell someone with that amount of combat training he can't? The ball spills right under the three point strike target, and here comes Anya Anderson at a flat run, sidesteps a Devastators defender, scoops it up, arches back. STRIKE! And that's a landslide to the Valkyries..."

The 16MCr I got for that win went straight on a support coach and a cheerleader - despite some folks' opinions, I reckon that they're value for money if you can reasonably predict where you're going to score, which I can with the Valkyries.

With time to kill, I went for an exhibition game against Rob's Nameless, the Arctech Unmentionables - another team that hands out serious levels of hurt, especially since he'd somehow won Buzzcut in the MVP auction. (As an aside - the drawback of MVPs is they tend to get the XP and stop your team advancing, of course.) The problem with Nameless, especially when they also have The Praetorian to score for them, is they're actually not bad at scoring, either.  Back to Jason and Vish for the final play.

 "Vish surprised."

"How so, big guy?"

"Vish really thought Unmentionables would have put game away by now. Enforcer and Rico both off pitch."

"Yeah. Either way - the ball's up for grabs on halfway. The Valkryies are still in this game - van Diem's quick-thinking four-pointer after the ball shattered gave them a lead, but the Unmentionables have handed out a serious beatdown since then, and that last score gives them a one point edge. And here comes Anya Anderson, the Valkyries #6, who's on a hot scoring streak over these past two games. Picks up on the run. She needs at least two points this rush: a glance at the left-hand two point spot..."

"She not want to do that... oh, smart move...."

"Yup. The two pointer's closer, but a harder target. She drops a shoulder, heads for the three. No-one's going to stop her... Over the four point spot, pushing it to get in ra...."

"Bwhahaa...."

"Oh my..... Steady, Vish, You'll get MegaCola on the monitor. Dear me."

 "Hahaha... oh... that frodding hysterical...."

"Sorry, viewers. Vish seems to have lost it. If I can recap... no-one to beat, Anderson clears the four-point spot, arm back to let fly, and you'd think one of the Nameless had left a synth-banana skin on the floor of the strike zone, as her feet go out from under her like an Azure IX baby deer on ice. And that's the game. Join us for Vish's closing summary after this break from our sponsor, MegaCola. If he hasn't choked to death on their product."

One measly dash roll. On four dice: one 4+ would have done. And I'd have had a two dice roll for the strike.

(Delayed) Match Report - 26 May 2014 - Dreadball

And it's straight over to Vish and Jase for the end of our live tri-d broadcast..

"Ah... Vish wish to apologise. Since Devastators get whitewashed by bunch of girls in short order... Vish still laughing, by the way... Valkyries take on Arctech Unmentionables in exhibition game - loads of MVPs too. Vish like Unmentionables - big walking sushi. Lots of carnage.

"Anyway. It very exciting game. Down to last play of last rush. But Jase still editing highlights for you. Vish told him get lots of angles of Anya Anderson falling on backside, because it make Vish laugh so much he spray monitor with mouthful of sponsor's fizzy soda. MegaCola - it not just tasty, it great for cleaning screens too. So.. Vish and Jason very sorry - we have highlights package for you after Co-Prosperity news tomorrow. Till then, Vish wish you good night...[1] 

"Oh! Vish nearly forget! Also! Valkyries now have cheerleading squad. Vish off to Vish's bunk."

---

[1] As do I, as I didn't make it in till 11.30. Sorry for the short post!

Match Report - 19 May 2014 - Dreadball

Two exhibition games for the club league tonight: one vs Carl's Settler Spacehawks, a very satisfying 7 point whitewash thanks, and Carl was gentleman enough to admit it, to a rather major booboo on his part, although to be fair, if he'd made the score, things would have been different.

Second game was against old adversary Dale's completely psycho Teratons, the Deranged Devastators. As ever, the name of the game against Dale is keeping enough players on the pitch to be able to get an unassailable lead. This was NOT helped by... well, we'll take you over to Jase and Vish for a live look-in at the game...

"And you join us about halfway through the Valkries/Devastators game, and as usual, the Teratons are taking it as seriously as any other. No deaths yet..." 

"Shame!"

"Thanks, Vish. But the Valkyries are having a hard time keeping players on the field and out of the treatment room. This isn't helped by the fact that MVP Anne-Marie Heldar has decided that today she's going to play as a Striker..." 

"Valkyries coach not popular." 

"Indeed not, big guy. She got laid out by a Devastator in the first rush, and since she got back from the medical time, she's been riding the pine all game. As has Wildcard." 

"Vish think hardly worth wasting the MegaCreds. To be fair, though, the big lass did well against the Spacehawks." 

"True, she did. Anyway. You join us as the Devastators have just fumbled a pick up, and here comes backup striker Freya Sigurdsdottir..." 

"Jase fancy her, remember, viewers.

"Hrmph... As I was saying... here comes blonde bombshell Sigurdsdottir from deep in the Valkyries half, a long run, scoops up the ball without breaking stride, skirts the edge of the one point zone... is she going for a one... No!... Another couple of long-legged strides, and a rifled throw to Ola Gunnarson who's stood half-behind one of the big turtles almost under the three point target - quite how she hasn't got flattened yet is anyone's guess. Laser beam throw from Freya - she had exactly one spot she could throw that that Gunnarson could catch it and the Teraton couldn't block it...." 

"Perfect catch."  

"Ola snags it one-handed in mid-air, turning as she does so. Wow... the throw's almost part of the same movement, laser-guided, dead centre. Three point strike, and she absolutely nails the landing for the cameras. And the crowd go mental." 

"Vish think that a Strike of the Season contender." 

"Dead right there, big guy."

A three pointer from deep in the Valkyries half using just one action. That was the last strike in a game that was closer than it looked. Dale had a chance for a four pointer to tie it in his last rush, and... failed.

Match Report - 24 Mar 2014 - Dreadball

Time for round two of the club's monthly Dreadball league, in which I got to play newcomer John's Kawazaki Krushers, a bunch of Orx. Over to the usual commentary crew, who seem to be facing some technical difficulties:[1]

"Welcome to Valhalla Stadium once again, where you find us about six rushes from the end of a gripping game between the Asgard Valkyries and the Kawazaki Krushers: it should be more one-sided than it is, but tonight the Valkyries apparently can't throw for toffee, but are still four-zip up. We're also suffering from a loss of picture feed, so we're going to be doing this old-school." 

"Vish not sure he like sound of that, Jason."

"Why not, big guy?" 

"Hard enough for Vish to get word in edgeways as it is." 

"Too bad. You join us as Valkyries' striker Ola Gunnarson picks up a scattered ball, and ducks between two Krushers guards, in to the three point zone. This for a whitewash - she can't possibly miss from there. Must score! And she... misses..." 

"Bwhaha... Vish think that absolutely priceless." 

"Indeed. Gunnarson pings the throw off the stanchion of the strike target, straight back at her, clean between the eyes. Quite how she's still on her feet I don't know. End of the rush... Here come the Orx." 

"Ooopsie. Ola not on her feet now." 

"Indeed not. Gunnarson's being 'ported off, and if she wasn't seeing stars before, that big guard made sure she is now. And here comes one of the Krushers' goblin jacks to clean up the scattered ball... oh. Dear." 

"Vish starting to think that bar of soap, not ball." 

"He fumbles the pickup. It's like a game of pinball there, as the ball rebounds off the ref bot, the arena wall, the ref bot again and the arena wall again. And since the Orx have lost possession, here comes the second last rush for the Valkyries. Oh dear." 

"Ugh. Ugly, ugly play. Ugly like Vish's grandmother." 

"You could be right, big guy. Ho. What a mess. The Valkries try to get a couple of jacks in range of the ball, but nothing doing. Over to the Orx: a jack manages to pick it up this time. Passes it - can the Krushers get downfield and take this game into overtime... no!! missed pass. Loose ball, last rush for the Valkyries. And here comes Valkyries' stunning blonde backup striker Freya Sigurdsdottir, at a flat run from the bench. Sidesteps a guard, stretches the run to grab the loose ball, clean pickup..." 

"Vish getting that strange thing again. Can't remember phrase. It on tip of tongue." 

"Post-concussion syndrome?" 

"Not funny. Vish have doctor's note for that." 

"I've seen it, folks. Not so much a note as a novel..." 

"Ah. Vish remember. Déjà vu. Vish pretty sure we were here a rush or two ago." 

"Long legs take her into the three point zone. She must score... Oh my goodness..." 

"Vish note for viewers - thudding sound you hear is Jason's head on desk. Jase fancy Freya. Jase was looking forward to post-match interview." 

"How on all the planets this side of Azure IX did she miss that? How? I mean - it was an absolute sitter..." 

"Vish not sure. But Vish think Valkyries coming down with something." 

"What?" 

"Don't know. Vish pretty sure it not catching, though. Or throwing."

And on that note...

My thanks to John, whose first ever game of Dreadball it was, for a really fun game.

---

[1] translation: guess who forgot his camera?

Match Report - 24-Feb-2014 - Dreadball

First round of the club's Dreadball tournament. As it turned out, we had 7 players, so I ducked out to start with to check up on our Hammerhead game, and returned in time for a game against James' "Dream Reapers", another Void Sirens-based human team on his excellently painted Mantic MDF pitch.

So it's over to the Reaper Stadium, and Jason and Vish:

"And you catch us with two rushes to go in this battle of the Sirens, the Valykries against the Reapers. The run of play has gone the way of the Reapers so far, as they're three points up with the ball in hand. Vish?" 

"Vish in his happy place. Two teams of..." 

"Must you? The Valkyries haven't been able to catch a thing all game, star Striker Ola Gunnarson dropping two absolute sitters for three or four pointers. Surprisingly low on carnage, too - the worst we've seen is a two-rush benching for a mild concussion, and the Reapers being done for having seven women on the pitch." 

"Not enough blood, Vish think. Valkyries been double teaming the Reapers' Guard, Dawn, but it all been a lot of push and shove and handbags..."

"Right there, big guy. And here come the Reapers now with a gift of a Strike that'll put the game out of reach... And oh... my..."

"Vish can't believe she missed that. Absolute sitter. My grandmother could have scored from there with her eye shut." 

"The ball scatters, right into the path of Valkyries' Jack Katya Svensson... she's not been with it these last few rushes: rumours abound of too much mead last night. But Ingrid Sigurdsen..." 

"She looking fine for Jack with major neck surgery last week. Mighty fine." 

"She is that. A neat pickup without breaking stride as Greta Fredriksson and Reapers' Guard Dawn are having another pushing and shoving match. She crosses halfway, flicks it neatly to Gunnarson - the Valkyries are going to have to play for overtime, because the two guards are still arguing, haven't moved an inch off the four point spot..." 

"For about five rushes. Bo-oor-ing. Vish can watch that on the kiddie channel..." 

"Yup. Gunnarson catches the pass from Svennson... fingertip juggle and snag at full stretch at the third attempt... and... That's it. The siren. Game over, the Reapers WIN! If only she'd caught that cleaner, she could have had time to flick in a three pointer and take us to overtime."

A fun game: it took me a couple of rushes to remember I was playing a team that valued carnage less than scoring, so I was a couple of points down before I adapted my strategy. My dice rolling sucked: must have dropped three or four sitters, and fluffed more than one throw.

As ever, though, it's a great game. Off home now, to grab and read the Xtreme Beta rules.

Review - Dreadball Azure Forest expansion

I got back from worship band rehearsal last night to find the wargames fairy had paid a visit (yes folks, he even delivers) and left me a copy of the new Dreadball supplement - not Xtreme, but the Azure Forest expansion - the first in the Galactic Tour series.

It's one of Mantic's standard figure 'DVD-style' cases, containing a couple of figures (a trophy and an MVP - both metal, and nice sculpts), some extra cards, and a small rule booklet that fits neatly into the case.

But hey. This is Dreadball. I don't do Dreadball. Over to Jason and the big guy:

"What you got there, Vish?"

"Is handy-dandy pocket tourist guide for Azure IX. Print a bit small and grey for Vish's eyesight: Vish wondering why they not go digital yet."

"One too many blows to the head knock your vision out of whack, big guy?"

"Vish still seeing just fine. And you talk while Vish interrupting. Where was...."

"Azure IX?"

"Vish wishes. New Azure Forest League look right up his street. Open-air pitch, weather, extra chance players fall over and get hurt. More blood always good."

"You have a one-track mind."

"Two - also cheerleaders. Azure Forest League cheerleaders closer to pitch and crowd , more chances to affect game. Mmmm. Cheerleaders... Vish wish he was still cleared to play. Maybe Azure Forest shamans cook something up for him...."

"Huh? Shamans?"

"Make potions. Give to losers, even things up to fair fight in League. Vish not so sure about fair fight, but potion to make him irresistible to ch..."

"Vish? Hello? Family show. Still. Just. Let's keep it that way."

"Hrmph. Vish been doing this three years and still not get how it okay with you humans to describe Trontek player's head go squish like ripe Earth melon, but not allowed to speculate on what Julie Summers not got on under uniform..."

"This is Jason Barker handing you back to the studio right now...."

So - several pages of in-character fluff, more event cards, weather, potions ("Blessings Of The Jungle"), rules to make your cheerleaders more useful, a new MVP.

On top of that, there's a definitive/official set of tournament rules, plus photocopiable forms, and the stats for the three backer-submitted MVPs from the original Kickstarter. All in a 32 page book.

All told? Looks like fun. Definitely keen to give it a try, and I'd also be keen to see more in the series - hey, Mantic, if you want me to write one for Asgard... :D

Match Report - 17-Feb-2014 - Dreadball

I spent most of last week trying to remember where the heck I put the Dreadball 'Extra Time' pack (cards, refbot, ball) and counters that I'd bought....

...until I remembered that it was the stuff I'd been meaning to pay Reuben for when I left the £60 at the ATM (thanks to the Coop bank for clearing that up for me)...

Which involved a blog search to find where I'd grumbled about that, and thus which game I'd been playing that night, and thus which Really Useful Box they were likely to have been dropped in for safe keeping. And indeed, there they were: in my trees box.

Who says blogging regularly isn't useful? :D

Over to Jason and Vish at the match:

"And you join us in the last rush of this exciting game from the brand-new stadium here on Valhalla: the Asgard Valkyries are three points up, with an opening score that came via a fumbled pickup by star striker Ola Gunnarson, that bounced back into her hands off the ref bot. But now there's a Teraton with the ball just off the four point spot. This could be curtains for the Valkyries..."

"Vish need to interrupt here, Jase. Not best way for Teratons to win."

"How do you mean, big guy?" 

"Vish think you just watch and tell the nice people at home what's happening. Vish going to enjoy the carnage."

"Whatever you say, big guy. And... oof... That has to smart. That's Ingrid Sigurdsen, the Valkyries' last jack, carted off with what looks like a broken neck. In fact, that's their last player on the pitch. Just as Greta Fredriksson, their guard, makes it out of the treatment room onto the bench, clearly annoyed, from the trail of concussed trainers she's left in her wake."

"Vish think you should remind people of overtime rules."

"OK.... you don't argue with the big guy. So. If the scores are level, we play sudden death overtime...."

"Vish like that phrase."

"...until either one team scores or their opponents are unable to field any players who are able to. And teams may not field any replacements.... and there goes a Teraton, standing right under the three point target. It shoots. STRIKE. And the score's back to zero, and we have overtime."

"No we don't. The Teratons WIN! Heh. Vish always wanted to get that in first."

"The... Oh... And Greta Fredriksson is attempting to pound the refbot into scrap in frustration. The Valkyries have no players on the pitch. The Teratons WIN! Even if Fredriksson was out of the treatment room in time, she's not a Striker or Jack, so she can't score anyway. Who's she think she is, Anne-Marie Helder?"

Lessons learned:

• the clear 'Home' tokens need a coat of paint. They vanish on my pitch at some angles.
• the new FF Fields pitch is awesome. It is though slightly larger than a standard one, so it won't fit in the Amera stadium.
• Googling for Anne-Marie Helder produces someone else unless you qualify with 'dreadball' :D
• Double-teaming Teratons is the way forward.
• I have some seriously silly ideas for a tarted-up Dreadball stadium.

Dale and I had a second game. Same result. 0-0 in overtime, and I ran out of players :D I swear, I haven't laughed down the club so much in months.

Match Report - 23-Dec-2013 - Dreadball

"And here we are on a cold December evening - Jason Barker here, with co-commentator and former Marauder's star Vish. Welcome to preseason in the Co-Prosperity League at the stadium of expansion team the Asgard Valkyries, Valhalla Field. Their opponents today are another expansion team, the Arctech Juggernauts. How do you see this one playing out, Vish?"

"Hrm. Vish thinks Valkyries get crushed by Terratons unless little girls quick on their feet. Vish looking forward to that."

"Well, there you have it... the teams are lining up, and here comes the ball for the first rush...."

I have to say, I really like Dreadball. The game mechanics are simply elegant. Everything ties in prettily - if you get double the successes you need, then Good Things happen (you get an extra action, you strip the ball AND hold on to it, etc). As I've said before, the throw/catch mechanism is equally neat - you get to roll as many dice (against your catch skill) as successes the thrower makes against his throw....

It's quick, it's simple. And in a turn-up for the books, I actually beat Dale from our club - it was both of our first game... We'll return you to Jason and Vish for the final rush...

"The Valkyries are six points up, but that last rush from the Juggernauts left them with just two players on the field, one of whom, Jack Katya Svensson, has just been knocked senseless by the ball. What do you reckon to this, Vish?"

"Vish think it frodding hysterical. Bam! Side of head. Down like Forgefather after too many beers. Hahahaha! Also, Vish think Juggernauts make one tiny booboo..."

"What's that, big guy?"

"Vish think Juggernauts forget game is called DreadBALL."

"And here come the Valkyries now. Svensson's getting to her feet, looking around, spots the ball. There's no Juggernaut nearer than six hexes from the ball, and most of them are up at their three point zone where Striker Anya Anderson has just been teleported off with what could be a fatal injury  Four rushes to go after this one as she scoops up the ball... and what's that. Oh MY GOD. It's star Striker Ola Gunnarson, fresh out of the treatment room after a pounding from the Juggernauts' Guards, at a flat out sprint upfield from the Valkyries' bench. She sidesteps into the one point zone, and Svensson flicks her the ball, a neat underhand pass. She catches it and spins, throws. STRIKE! The Valkyries win!"